Joycelyn Addison

"Her beauty makes this vault a feasting presence full of delight."

- William Shakespeare, Romeo & Juliet

The year was 1988. It was the fourth Friday of the golden month of February. The place was the 80,000 seater Kumasi Sports Stadium...at the Inter Schools & Collegeiate Athletics Festival, arguably the best sporting festival besides the World Cup Soccer and the Olympic Games. Like the Seventh Calvary at the Eleventh Hour, I was so enlivened by the fanfare of trumpets that always came with the 4 x 100 meters relay - the last event of the festival - that I started to panic for Dear Mother Prempeh because we were trailing AMASS by one point before this final event, and we neede to win this race to win the whole tournament. If I told you Emmanuel "Koora" Tuffuor, Ghana's then-number one 100m runner was doing the anchor leg for AMASS, then you would understand why this fluttered my dovecotes.

And you know, in this state of consternation, I had no interest in chasing any of these impressionable damsels at Asokwa. But guess what?

My buddy Williams (of Konongo Odumase Secondary School - KOSS) and I were sauntering at the gates of the stadium about 30 minutes before the great race. That was when we saw her. Actually there were two of them. The moment I saw her, my eyes went back to Sunday school (and I was sunday school captain for 7 years!). I couldn't really remember the exact biblical quotation, but it was something about the fallen angels coming down to marry the daughters of the sons of men, presumably for their phenomenal beauty. Now, if you belong to the school of thought that, God being older than Methuselah has lost his creativity, then I swear to you, you haven't seen this lady and you better perish those silly inclinings. God might be a senior citizen, but darn...the guy is still a crackerjack in what he does.

Joycelyn Addison was her name, at least that's what she told me. While I gave this Saint Elmo's fire some amorous glances, my friend William Adjei Jericho had already started talking to her friend (her name escapes me, something like Agnes something). With Wiliam's bold move, I was able to cluster the hardihood to make my move. We had a long chat; she seemed very interested. And since they say that Goodness is the foundation of a good man's character, I took her to a restaurant near Sky Hawks and dined and wined her. A double date with Will and the other Amazon.

Remember that biblical stuff about God breaking the mole and making us perfect? What about that which described, Absalom the rebel, who was supposed to be without blemish from the crown on his head to the soles of his feet? That's the kind of beauty I'm talking about. Oh Lord, the girl was so garishly adorable. Her sartorial elegance was an art da Vinci would have loved to capture. As for the splendiferous blue skirt and white blouse (from which I surmised she was a student at Technology Secondary School - Tech Sec, the day school of University of Science & Technology), I can only leave it to your magination.

Heavens, this seeming apparition had a "defense" so big and round that would make Archbishop Desmond Tutu, have sinful thoughts, and her thighs, forget German technology or Japanese ingenuity, they don't come close.

After watching the race together, which Prempeh won, we chatted for a while and parted. She urged me to write to her at school and then arrange to visit her at Tech Sec.

That night, in Pearson dorm 9, I wrote 3 letters to Jocelyn Addison. There was an agreement that Willie and I will come and visit them at school. The following day I wrote 2 more. By the 8th day, I had written about 14 letters to my beloved Joycelyn. It did not end there. I kept writing and writing. It turns out that my pal Willie was also writing an average of 10 letters a week from KOSS campus. Two months later, I decided to visit her at Tech Sec campus because I hadn't received any response from my darling. So off to Tech I went. But do you know something? I had a girlfriend - a serious one - at Tech at that time. But just like Mr. Clinton, I wanted my Hilary here, and my Lewinsky there.

So, with the boldest effrontery, I made my way to Tech, acting as Prempeh Ambassador to Tech and holding many letters intended for delivery for Amanfoo's girlfriends at the mix-school.

At Tech, I waited in the famous green Prempeh uniform as my friend Annan, a Tech student, checked the campus for a Joycelyn Addison. About 4 hours later, I was still waiting as they delved into the school's archive....starting from whenever the school was established, with the hope of finding any Joycelyn Addison who once attended the school. There I realized William had written about 53 letters; I had only 26. This was the number of letters that remained hidden somewhere after my pal Annan had graciously intercepted most of them to save me the public ridicule since no Joycelyn Addison existed at the school.

Enter J.A. Boamah (Adoram), former Asst. Headmaster at Prempeh College who was then the newly appointed Headmaster of Tech Sec. He remembered the name of the sender of those letters from Prempeh. And it did not help matters since I used Prempeh aerogramme envelopes with pictures of the great school all over it. Then came Mr. Boamah carrying a big sack of of letters as I suffered derisory chants from the jealous Tech Sec boys crowd, who berated me for coming to pick up their women in the highly prestigious green shirt. Asem aba fie!

Showing quicksilver heels, I made my way out of the crowded campus back to Sofoline.

But disappointed as he was in me for spending most of my prep time writing love letters, the valorous Mr. Boamah carried the whole sack to Prempeh Headmaster, Rueben T. Sackey, to have me punished, thinking Willie must be a Prempeh student also.

The only soothing balm was that Prempeh had won the trophy.

As for you Joycelyn Addison, wherever you are, and whatever your real name is, thank you for making 1988 my annus mirabilis.

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