An Exclusive 2005 School Magazine Preview

July 27, 2005

The following is a collection of some of the poems and articles that will feature in this year's (2005) school magazine. The website knows the articles in there before the whole world gets to see it.

In life, there are two things to worry about whether you are healthy or sick
When healthy, there is nothing to worry about,
But when sick, there are two things to worry about
Whether you will survive or die
When you survive there is nothing to worry about
But when you die, there are two things to worry about
Whether you make it to heaven or hell
When you make it to heaven, there is nothing to worry about But when you make it to hell, you will be too busy shaking hands with old friends
That, you will not have time to think, let alone worry.

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We vow to thee,
O motherland we love
What gift of brain or heart, hand or hope
May our devotion prove?
Shall we your sons and daughters be
Less worthy than our sires?
When we are grown and take our place,
Our love and tail shall be
As men and women with our race.

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A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
A pig’s orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
A snail can sleep for 3 years.
All polar birds are left handed.
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive each from each salad served in first-class.
Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza everyday.
An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.
Babies are born without knee-caps-they don’t appear until the age of 2- 6 years.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
Cat’s urine glow under a black light.
China has more English speakers than the United States.

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A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a departmental store and asks “W-w-w-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-p-pa-rtment? The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing. The man repeats himself-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-par-t-ment? Again the clerk doesn’t answer him. The guy asks several times and the clerk just seems to ignore him. Finally the guy is angry and storms off. The customer who was waiting in the queue behind the man asks the clerk “why wouldn’t you answer the man?” The clerk answers “d-d-d-d-o y-ou w-a-a-a-nnn-t me to b-e bbbb-eeee-a-a-aten up?

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